For Ron Freckleton, love was never complicated. It was waking up each morning beside his wife, Joan. It was going for drives, shopping together and solving whatever problem the day had in store for them. It was, as Ron describes it, “just plain love.”
Ron and Joan were married for 58 years. Their life together was ordinary in the way many of the best lives are, built quietly through decades of shared routines, experiences and memories. Then Joan was diagnosed with dementia.
“I used the word ordinary, and that’s what it was. And I guess when she got sick, it became extraordinary.”
For 10 years, Ron cared for Joan as dementia gradually changed their life together. He learned to make things simple. Instead of asking open-ended questions, he offered choices: Shall we go for a ride? Shall we go shopping? And when a problem arose, they dealt with it and carried on.
Ron doesn’t describe those years as an act of duty or sacrifice. To him, the explanation is much simpler.
“I think it was just plain love. I think that’s all I can attribute it to.”
Day after day, he chose Joan. As memories faded, their connection remained. When Joan died in April 2014, Ron sat beside her. After a while, he began singing to her. Losing Joan brought the end of one long journey and another began.
Only months later, Ron started writing about their life together and his experience as a caregiver. Two years later, his book Our Time to Say Goodbye was published. Ron wanted people to understand dementia, but he also wanted them to understand the people living alongside it.
Caregivers, he says, can become consumed by caring for someone they love. Their lives narrow around appointments, decisions, changing needs and the person that depends on them.
Writing became Ron’s way of processing that experience.
“I wanted people to read it and understand what dementia is about. And my love story at the same time.”
Proceeds from the book support Alzheimer Calgary, a United Way-funded agency helping people impacted by dementia and the people who care for them.
Ron didn’t stop with the book. As a United Way Impact Speaker for the last ten years, he has shared his story more than 50 times with Calgary businesses, helping others understand what dementia and caregiving can look like behind closed doors. In doing so, he has inspired people to give back and helped raise millions of dollars to strengthen our community.
Today, when Ron thinks about Joan, he remembers the good. The grief has changed. The love will always remain. And perhaps that’s what makes their story extraordinary. Not one grand gesture, but thousands of ordinary ones, repeated over a lifetime.
Showing up. Carrying on. Sometimes, that’s what enduring love looks like.
As fundraising campaigns for our community launch this fall, we’re celebrating 10 years of Ron reminding us that impact often starts with something simple: showing up for one another.
To learn more about how you can participate here.